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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24328747">the world as it could be</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sniperct/pseuds/sniperct'>sniperct</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Alternate Encounters - Elsamaren [11]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Frozen (Disney Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(sort of), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Boom Headshot, Domestic Moments, F/F, Fear, Gen, Hope, Men Are Violent, Post-Apocalypse, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:55:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,694</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24328747</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sniperct/pseuds/sniperct</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Twenty months ago, the world as she knew it ended. Elsa is alone and exhausted, desperately trying to find her sister and praying that somewhere in this new world there are still good people.</p><p>And then one of those good people saves her life. In another time, another era, she would have liked to have met Honeymaren for coffee.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Elsa/Honeymaren (Disney)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Alternate Encounters - Elsamaren [11]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1836310</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>87</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the world as it could be</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>¯\_(ツ)_/¯</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There were no safe places anymore, the world as it was now lost to faded memory. At least that was the way that Elsa looked at it. She was alone, the only hope she clung to the belief that somewhere, her sister was still alive. That she’d find her again, and then…</p><p>Well Elsa hadn’t really thought much past that point. Survive. Find Anna. ???  Profit.</p><p>Of course, when it came down to it, Elsa thought, one should never let their guard down. She could hear the men moving through the trees, stomping loudly, and she shrank back under the log even further. It was so cold under here and the sky was overcast as though it were going to snow.</p><p>Elsa <i>hoped</i> there were people out there who’d come together, to support each other and try to rebuild out of the ashes of their world. Maybe even create something new and good, like new growth after a wildfire. She’d heard rumors of safe havens in Seattle and other cities to the west, and eve a few to the east, but Anna had been going to school in Seattle, so Elsa had immediately set out to go west.</p><p>She was pretty sure she was somewhere in Colorado by now, moving up into the Rockies. The mountains were much larger than she’d ever imagined; the ones back east were anthills in comparison.</p><p>It hadn’t been the good, supportive people that Elsa had encountered in the past year and a half. It had been men (not always, but most often), preying on the weak. Men creating camps where they fought each other for resources and tortured people for the fun of it. </p><p>She frequently remembered that Anna had been dating a man named Kristoff and prayed the end of all things had proven the worth of his character. If anything happened to Anna Elsa wasn’t sure she’d have the willpower to go on.</p><p>A twig snapped nearby, taking her back to the here and now and she held her breath, squeezing the make-shift weapon in her hands tightly. Elsa had hurt a few people and she despised herself every time.</p><p>A hand suddenly grabbed at her, pulling her out from her hiding spot. She swung the ice pick in her hand in a wide arc. There was a splash of blood and the man let go of her. She stumbled to her feet, ducking under the arms of the man’s partner and sprinted through the underbrush and <i>away</i>. To escape, or find a better position, or <i>something</i>. They outnumbered her, and were much larger than she was; standing and fighting would just get her killed.</p><p>So she ran, sprinting through the underbrush, her heart pounding in her chest and her breath ragged in her throat. Lungs burning, legs burning, but still she ran as fast as she could.</p><p>A gunshot echoed, bark splintering off of a tree to her left and she darted right and nearly ran off of a cliff. Elsa flailed, grabbing onto a branch before she could tumble off and down a steep embankment. She stared down it, then looked back at the men crashing after her. Elsa had killed a man, once before. And while Hans might have deserved it, it was a feeling she never wanted to relive.</p><p>Turning around, she brandished her ice pick like it was a knife, eyes darting between the two men. The first had a deep gash across his forehead, blood pouring down into his eyes, even as he kept wiping at them. His friend pointed a crowbar at her and for half a second Elsa considered leaping to her death rather than let Crowbar and Gash take her. A quick death was better than a slower one. But if she died, she’d never see Anna again.</p><p>“Come easily an’ maybe I’ll only break one leg,” Gash said.</p><p>Elsa gripped the pick tighter and decided to go for the throat first. But she barely had time to move before Crowbar’s head exploded into a fine mist. It was only after that she hear the retort of a gun. Gash dove for cover as another gunshot rang out, and this time Elsa saw a flash from a ridge above. Friend or just an opportunist, Elsa didn’t care, they’d just given her a second lease on life.</p><p>Gash tried to make his escape, ducking into a more thickly wooded area and thus preventing a clear line of sight to the sniper. </p><p>Elsa took a step after Gash, but stopped herself; besides being stupid and dangerous, it wasn’t really in her nature to murder someone. At least, not when it wasn’t self-defense.</p><p>The shooter was gone by the time she looked back to the ridge, and the hair on Elsa’s neck stood up on end. She edged more under the trees and knelt next to the body of Crowbar. Somewhere east of her she heard another gunshot and swallowed.</p><p>It was a grisly task, but one she had become quite adept at. She could even keep her lunch down so long as she didn’t look at what was left of his head and she had the benefit of trying to move quickly before the shooter made an appearance or Gash had returned; whichever had pulled that last trigger.</p><p>But all he had in his pockets was an energy bar. She grabbed his backpack to inspect later and had barely moved two feet when she saw someone standing a few meters away. It was a woman. She was brown skinned, with eyes halfway between the colors of amber and honey. Her hair was pulled back into a braid and her clothing was functional. In a normal society, Elsa would have found herself a little flustered. In a normal society, she’d want a coffee date.</p><p>But the world wasn’t normal anymore and of more immediate concern was the pistol she was pointing at Elsa’s face and the fact she’d just killed two men.</p><p>Slowly, Elsa held her hands up, palms out. It didn’t make any sense for this woman to kill her would be captors and then come and kill <i>her</i> but nothing had made sense since the end of it all. She realized that she was probably one bad day from a complete breakdown and so far, that day felt like today. Tiredly, she asked, “Do you want the backpack? We could split it? Or you could take it all, right now I just don’t care anymore.”</p><p>The woman lowered the gun. She still looked wary, but her shoulders had relaxed somewhat. “I’m sorry. I’ve been baited by beautiful women before, I wanted to be certain.”</p><p>Elsa blinked, processing her words and realizing from her perspective, it could really have looked like they were putting on a show to draw in onlookers. </p><p>“Oh. Okay that makes sense.” <i>She</i> didn’t relax until the woman had holstered her pistol and even then she didn’t relax entirely.</p><p>“I’m Honeymaren.” Honeymaren held out her hand. </p><p>“Elsa.” She stared at the hand for a moment, then hesitantly shook it, “Thank you. For … taking care of Crowbar and Gash.”</p><p>“I got the other guy, but  we should probably not stick around.” Honeymaren dropped her hand, “I’ve got a camp in a secure area a few miles away. You look like you could use a break.”</p><p>Oh, she was tempted. But Elsa shook her head, “I’m bad luck. Every time I catch a break it all goes bad.”</p><p>“I’ve been pretty lucky, so maybe we’ll balance each other out. Look, it’s going to take us a long time to get back if we don’t want to be followed. It’ll be cold and dark and do you really want to be exposed out here?” Maren leaned her hand on her hip, staring at her.</p><p>“How do I know this isn’t a trap?” Elsa asked, already half thinking about it.</p><p>“You don’t, but …” Maren tapped her pistol, “I could have shot you six times over.”</p><p>“God,” Elsa breathed, lifting a shaking hand to her face and rubbing it. If she was <i>that</i> out of it today, she really <i>was</i> going to get herself killed. “Okay. Okay.”</p><p>Honeymaren led her back to her camp, and it really did take most of the day, zigging and zagging and backtracking to make sure any of Gash and Crowbar’s friends couldn’t find them. When they got there, Elsa discovered the camp was an old cabin tucked away beneath the edge of a mountain. It looked overgrown, but well cared for, and most importantly there was only one way up to reach it, making it very defensible. Still, Elsa hoped Honeymaren had an escape plan, just in case.</p><p>There was a trench dug into the ground in front of the cabin, ringed by rocks and with a metal housing. Elsa realized it was some kind of campfire, and looked at it curiously.</p><p>“This way I can make food and keep myself warm with little to no smoke,” Honeymaren explained. “Everything gets drawn into the trench. I even set up a kind of oven and I’ve been working on a way to transfer the heat to the cabin.”</p><p>It was really impressive and Elsa remembered how woefully unprepared and inexperienced she was in this kind of life. She also realized Honeymaren was taking a big gamble. “You didn’t have to do this, you know. You could have left me out there to fend for myself rather than risk your sanctuary.”</p><p>Shrugging, Maren opened the cabin door, “Maybe it was kind of stupid, but it’s nice to be reminded there are still good people out there.”</p><p>“Have you been here long?” Elsa followed her in and looked around. It was small, with a bed in the corner, a little kitchen that she presumed was mostly unused, and a bathroom. She stared at the latter. “Wait. Wait. Do … you have running water?”</p><p>“Yes, but it’s going to be ice cold. Toilet works too, but god help me if it ever clogs. Can’t exactly get a plumber any more.”</p><p>“The cold never bothered me,” Elsa assured her, unsure if she was happier about the toilet or the shower.</p><p>But she felt so unclean that she chewed on her lip, gazing at the shower longingly.</p><p>Honeymaren laughed, “Go ahead, I’ll get supper ready. And see if I can’t find you something clean to wear.”</p><p>“I can’t remember the last time I heard words like that,” she admitted, starting to unbutton her shirt. “Thank you.”</p><p>Swearing that Honeymaren took longer than strictly necessary to avert her gaze, Elsa made her way into the bathroom. Cold water or not, a chance to wipe the grime and blood and dirt out of her skin and hair was not something she was going to pass up.</p><p>Elsa all but scrubbed herself raw, her mind wandering to the places she’d been and the places she wanted to go. She let herself worry about Anna, she even let herself worry about herself. By the time she’d managed to get her hair clean, her teeth were chattering but she felt almost ecstatic. Tired. But ecstatic.</p><p>Maybe that breakdown wouldn’t be today after all!</p><p>Honeymaren had left some clothing by the door, and peeked in when she heard Elsa moving around, “I left your stuff alone. I don’t know if your clothing is salvageable but I didn’t want to accidentally throw out something important. Or be snoopy.”</p><p>“Thanks.” Another thing Elsa had forgotten was the feel of clean clothing on her skin. She wrapped her arms around herself, looking around the small cabin and feeling the urge to cry. It was so peaceful here, and yet …</p><p>“How long have you been here?” She realized she’d asked that before but Honeymaren hadn’t answered her.</p><p>“About two months.” Honeymaren led Elsa back outside, where she’d set up a couple of chairs and a crate that could act like a table. It was arranged next to the fire pit which gave them both warmth and some light. </p><p>High luxury indeed.</p><p>“Staying in one place this long is dangerous,” Elsa mused. But she took a chair anyway, because there was some kind of stew and she hadn’t eaten a warm meal in two weeks.</p><p>“Yeah, I know. And I should probably move on soon. It’s just hard enough to find a place that feels safe, but the luxury of running water? A roof and a bed?” Honeymaren shrugged, “I’d at least hoped to stay long enough for the pipes to break or the canned food to run out.”</p><p>Elsa nodded, but by the time Honeymaren had finished her explanation she was too busy devouring her food like a starving animal. Ordinarily she’d be embarrassed, but Honeymaren had an understanding expression on her face, along with an amused smile.</p><p>“Maybe slow down a little bit.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Elsa swallowed and nodded. “You’re right, I should.” And she tried, god she tried, but she probably still ate the rest of her stew faster than she ought to.</p><p>Full, she felt so full and clean and the fire pit was warm and there was someone to <i>talk</i> to! Someone who had been kind and treated her gently. Elsa could <i>breathe</i>. She was safe … she was <i>safe</i>!</p><p>But her hands were shaking and there was a pressure behind her eyes  She could breathe she could breathe she could <i>breathe</i>  … she was hyperventilating, the shaking reaching the rest of her body and the tears streaming down her face.</p><p>Trying to say something, to explain herself, Elsa only choked out an apology before she got to her feet and hurried back towards the cabin, gripping her arms tightly and digging her nails into her skin. The pain wasn’t near enough to keep her emotions at bay but she felt a little better for the effort.</p><p>Then Honeymaren was rubbing her back, murmuring wordless reassurances and being so sweet and kind that Elsa started to cry all over again. The last time she’d experienced something like this had been before her sister had gone off to college and the realization of that gaping chasm of loneliness hit her like a punch to the chest.</p><p>Kindness and compassion, the world as it could be, the world as it <i>should</i> be. Elsa leaned against Honeymaren, letting herself cry out months and years of fear and stress. This took quite some time, but Honeymaren didn’t let her go even if she held her in such a way that Elsa could easily escape if she chose. Which she didn’t. Honeymaren’s pull was strong but Elsa was so grateful to not be alone that she didn’t question the feeling.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” She said, throat and eyes raw and nose a little runny.</p><p>Maren put a finger over her lips, before offering her a rag, “Don’t be.”</p><p>“A lot has happened,” Elsa said, summing up nearly twenty months of the most hellish experience of her life in four short words. She wiped her face then blew her nose.</p><p>“Day after I found this place, I had a good cry too.” Honeymaren guided her back outside, sitting her down in front of the firepit. Elsa grabbed her hand, and indicated she should sit closer. It was hard to imagine her crying, and Elsa never wanted to see tears on that pretty face.</p><p>“Sometimes,” she continued, once Elsa didn’t say anything. “I feel guilty. I’m comfortable here. But my brother is out there somewhere. I don’t know if he’s alive or if he’s dead. And here I am, with that bed and warm meals when he could be … rotting in a pit somewhere.”</p><p>“You shouldn’t feel guilty,” Elsa replied, taking her hand even as she admitted to herself she’d feel guilty in Honeymaren’s place. “Not when this is a place you can rest and recover and keep your strength up.”</p><p>“Still do.” Honeymaren smiled sheepishly, staring down at their joined hands. She started to rub Elsa’s knuckles. “What about you? Any family?”</p><p>“I’m trying to get to my sister. She was in Seattle when … you know.” The contact was so <i>nice</i> that she realized she was a little touch starved. The words tumbled out before she could think about it. “Can I stay here a little while? A few days? A week at most. Then maybe we could go find our families. Together.”</p><p>They’d just met that day, yet Elsa didn’t want to go back out into the remains of the world alone. Having someone at her back would be a huge advantage for her survival and even a few days to rest would be as well. And if she was honest with herself, she was tired of feeling lonely.</p><p>“Okay, except ...” Honeymaren said, barely hesitating. She looked up at the night sky, clouds so dark that it was impossible to see the stars. “It’s going to snow, Elsa. That could set us back days or weeks. Even longer up here.”</p><p>They could get snowed in for the winter and there was nothing she could do. Trying to travel in a snow storm would be a surefire way to get killed. Elsa nodded. “On the plus side, at least we have each other's company?”</p><p>“I guess we do.” Honeymaren squeezed her hand. “Don’t worry about food, either. Between the supplies left behind and some hunting I’ve been doing, we’d make it to spring in the worst case. We’re better off than a lot of people.”</p><p>Elsa sighed, letting that sink in. She had to get to Anna, but she still had to cross the Rockies and then go through part of California and all the way through Oregon just to reach Washington. And Seattle was close to Canada than Oregon. It had already taken her a year to get this far and it would probably be next summer before she saw Anna.</p><p>“You’ll find her,” Honeymaren whispered, hand still holding her own.</p><p>“I have to …”</p><p>They fell silent, the only sound the fire pit and the creatures of the forest as it grew darker and colder. Elsa was lost in thought when Honeymaren stood and stretched her legs. “Fire pit will last until morning, when I’ll feed it more fuel.”</p><p>“Will the fuel be okay in the snow?”</p><p>“It’s safely covered and won’t get wet.” Honeymaren held out her hand, “ We should get some sleep.”</p><p>“I can take watch,” Elsa offered. She took the hand and let Maren pull her to her feet. She noticed that it had started snowing, flakes falling slowly at first but picking up speed and density as a cold wind blew.</p><p>“Oh no, you get some sleep. I’ll keep watch tonight and wake you in a few hours so we can switch, okay? Though if the snow keeps falling it probably won’t matter much by then.”</p><p>If Elsa was honest with herself, she’d have preferred Honeymaren joining her in that bed of hers, especially as the chilly night was starting to nip at her. The very thought made her blush, which was a strange feeling considering her life and her breakdown earlier. That too was kind of nice, “Thank you. If you decide not to wake me, feel free to snuggle in.”</p><p>Rubbing the back of her head, Honeymaren smiled ruefully, “Yeah, sure. Uh. You’re welcome.”</p><p>Surprising even herself, Elsa stepped up to Honeymaren and hugged her tightly. The return hug was comforting, and she nearly got lost in the scent of this woman and her warmth and almost started crying again.</p><p>Then she stepped away, smiling down at a flustered looking Honeymaren. “I’ll buy you coffee sometime.”</p><p>“What, like a date?”</p><p>“Maybe.”</p><p>“Then it’s a date,” Honeymaren replied, looking at her in such a way that Elsa wondered if she’d even let her out of the bed if she joined her..</p><p>“Great!” Like this was the before times and she’d set herself up with a beautiful woman she’d just met. The thought gave her mood whiplash but she felt like she was floating and that was a dangerous feeling she never wanted to lose. It felt <i>normal</i>. Before she could start crying again (and ruminate on having the luxury to feel her emotions), Elsa turned towards the bed.</p><p>“One more thing,” Honeymaren said, asking a question that was like cold water on Elsa’s emotions. “Do you know how to shoot?”</p><p>“Moderately,” Elsa replied, violently returned to the here and now. “My dad used to take us shooting.”</p><p>Seeming to understand and giving her an apologetic look, Honeymaren drew out a pistol and offered it, grip first, to Elsa. “This might be a little better than an ice pick.</p><p>She stared at it, then reluctantly took it. It was lighter than she expected, but she still didn’t like it, “You really want to trust me with this?”</p><p>“I trust that you won’t put a bullet in me and I trust that you want to survive. I won’t ask anything else of you.”</p><p>“You’re a good person, Honeymaren.” Elsa reached out to squeeze her hand and was slow to release it after, “You give me faith in humanity again and I’ll try not to disappoint you.”</p><p>“I just met you and somehow I don’t think that’s possible.” Grabbing her rifle, Honeymaren followed Elsa into the cabin. It was a little warmer than outside, and after she checked the safety on the gun and put it under the pillow, Elsa quickly slipped into the bed and under the covers. Honeymaren took a seat by the window, where she could see anything that might approach the camp. </p><p>Elsa yawned, and when she looked at Honeymaren again, Maren was looking at her. In the darkness, she couldn’t make out the expression on her face, but then Maren seemed to realize she’d been caught and looked quickly away.</p><p>Eyes fluttering closed, Elsa snuggled more deeply into the bed. She could admit the gun made her feel a little safer, but most of that feeling was due to Honeymaren’s presence. She could let herself fall asleep, she could rest, she could find the parts of her she’d forgotten again.</p><p>Most importantly, there were still good people in the world and for the first time in forever she felt hope.</p>
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